These obstacles to men's involvement in their children's lives tend to be both institutional and cultural. Societal expectations, welfare reform, child support law and court biases which favor mothers as primary caregivers clearly limit the role of father to one of breadwinner and provide little acknowledgment of the importance of their role as nurturer. Fathers, especially those who are poor and/or noncustodial, must interact with many governmental agencies: child support, welfare, family court, unemployment. These agencies reinforce for many fathers their narrow role as provider. Programs supporting young fathers must be willing to act as advocates for these young men in dealing with various state and nonprofit agencies and must be willing to help educate employees to the changing situations of families.

Barriers to healthy levels of paternal involvement brought on by traditional expectations are clearly reflected in the courts and social service systems. Ninety percent of custody decisions in divorce cases are decided in mothers' favor. The federal government and many state governments, including Vermont, have put into place strong and effective measures to see that noncustodial parents (read "fathers") pay appropriate child support. But there is no similar system to see that fathers also provide emotional support to their children. The message is clear as to how our society sees the role of father. We condemn many men for not being involved with their children while at the same time telling them it is just not that important to us. It is interesting‹ yet hardly surprising‹to find that there is a strong positive statistical relationship between the level of child support paid and the amount of involvement fathers have with their children, the highest levels of cooperation being in families with joint custody.

The social welfare system also gives fathers short shrift. The State of Vermont has a program called "Reach Up" which provides financial and emotional supports to parents on welfare aimed at helping them establish and achieve goals which will ultimately lead to their getting off welfare. This program is available to both single parents and two-parent families on welfare. However, their are few supports for noncustodial parents (again, read "fathers"). Forty to fifty percent of unpaid child support remains unpaid not because fathers are "deadbeat", but because of fathers' inability to pay.

At the P/CC, we both acknowledge that many fathers need much support and training to achieve their vocational goals and encourage them to see support of their children as a major factor in deciding at what point to enter the job market. While accepting an immediate minimum wage job may be tempting, it ultimately will not allow for adequate financial support. Finishing high school, getting a GED or job training will more likely lead to better income and better support of their families. Unfortunately, these long term goals frequently fly in the face of a child support system that requires immediate gratification. For some of our young fathers, frustrations such as these lead to their avoiding all responsibility to their children, both financial and emotional.

In terms of programs that are intended to assist parents, there are also barriers, both real and perceived, which limit their accessibility to men. Kiselica and Sturmer (1993) found that programs providing services for young parents are most often really designed to meet the needs of the mothers. And Hendricks (1988) found that teen fathers do not feel welcomed at clinics and agencies when they need help. It is little wonder, then, that fathers have been hesitant to get involved in these parenting programs. Acknowledging that fathers come to parenting with a very different focus from mothers is necessary in recruiting and keeping fathers in any program which aims to enhance their skills as parents.

Delos (1982) in a study of young drug and alcohol abusing males in a rural Vermont community found that many boys do not have healthy experiences with other males and thus grow up with poor masculine self-images. At the P/CC we have tried to create a safe "male space" by providing an opportunity for them to work with other young men and male staff. We work to create an environment that accepts and encourages an interactive style that is frequently physical and outwardly-directed. DADS Detailing and the weekly men's discussion groups are aimed at providing a sense of community among the young men in our program and providing a chance to be heard and supported by other males.

Many men bring to their role as father a deep seated, culturally trained propensity to see their main duty to their children as provider. At the P/CC, the number of men in our programs increased significantly when we offered an opportunity to work at a job (car detailing) that paid a small stipend and that was similar to a kind of job they would do on their own. Fathers at the P/CC were usually less interested in learning how to diaper or discipline than in how they might find meaningful work that would get them off welfare or help them live independently and become the financial provider for their families.

It cannot be stressed too strongly that while for many of the mothers in programs such as ours, much of their self esteem comes from being a good parent, the fathers we work with have grown up with this belief that men work and support their families financially. Pirog-Good (1995) found that teen fathers have a much more traditional sex role orientation than non-fathers. Being a good father for most of our clients means being a good financial provider for one's children and spouse. However, for this population of disadvantaged young men, feeling needed and successful in a parenting role is often stymied by the fact that real mean annual earnings for young men between the ages of 20-29, without college degrees, dropped approximately 30% between 1979 and 1992 (Center for Labor Market Studies cited in "The State of America's Children 1994", The Children's Defense Fund). In 1969, a full time minimum wage job supported a family of three at 120% of the poverty level; in 1993 at only 75% of the poverty level (U.S. Department of Labor and U.S. Census Bureau cited in The State of America's Children, The Children's Defense Fund). Even in the very limited role that has been granted them, many fathers feel doomed to failure.

Clearly, most teens do not have the ability, education or training to hold a job that will pay a wage sufficient to support a family. We must help young fathers plan for their futures while acknowledging their need to support their family today and tomorrow. Paying a small stipend to fathers for attending the P/CC has been effective in attracting and keeping men in the program. Staff at the P/CC have learned the ins and outs of the welfare system and can help fathers decide if working part-time or full time, for example, will better help them fulfill financial and vocational goals. Staff employment contacts in the community are frequently more effective in helping fathers find appropriate work than state welfare or employment agencies.

Just as many of our fathers have been brought up to be providers, many of the women we work with get their feelings of self esteem from their role as caregiver and nurturer and are often loath to share that responsibility. They often see increased involvement of their children's fathers as a threat to their roles. They are caught between the proverbial rock and hard place in that they want their children's fathers to be involved in their lives, but not so much so that their roles may be usurped. This is an issue both for men living with their partners and children as well as for noncustodial fathers. It often leads to a tenuous bond between fathers and children that is then easily broken if the parents separate. For noncustodial fathers, particularly fathers of infants where bonding is such a critical issue, trying to be a good parent is frequently impossible with a visitation schedule, generally set up at a mother's request, that allows relatively little time with their children. Involving fathers frequently requires helping mothers understand that fathers' involvement with their children is both necessary and beneficial and also helping allay their fears that having fathers involved will mean the loss of their own roles.

It may seem obvious, but one of the very important lessons that we have learned is that programs that are aiming to teach men effective parenting skills must give men an opportunity to spend time with children. Over the years in our work with fathers we have found that there needs to be a component of the program requiring all trainees, men and women, to spend a period of time in a supervised setting with children. Initially this often has felt awkward for the men, in particular, but over time we have found that men accept and begin to actually enjoy this time in their schedule.

After struggling through an initial adjustment period when large numbers of young fathers first entered the P/CC, we have come to recognize that these young men have much to offer our program and their children. In spite of many of their unattractive histories, fathers in our program were able to live up to appropriate expectations. Programs wanting to be successful with fathers must therefore not only know about male attitudes but must closely examine staff attitudes and expectations to make sure they are in agreement with program goals. The National Training Network of the Families and Work Institute has developed a day long workshop specifically to help programs analyze their level of "father friendliness". We have clearly seen, time and again, that just as fathers could surprise us by rising to meet our high expectations of them, so too can they slide to meet our worst fears. Attitudes toward fathers include being an advocate for noncustodial fathers in custody and child support proceedings. Working with both the mother and father in a dissolved family can be touchy. Staff resources must be found to provide each parent with the help they need while at the same time supporting staff in not taking adversarial positions. Staff at the P/CC often take on a mediating role and help diffuse these situations, especially in child custody disputes.

Clearly, expectations that fathers can and should be involved in their children's lives are increasing. Gender roles are, in fact, changing as men and women are challenged to take on more multifaceted roles in the family. In 1982 when the P/CC started running weekly playgroups in rural communities in Addison County, it was rare to have a child brought in by a father. Now it is unusual when a playgroup does not have three or four fathers sitting on the floor with their children, rolling a ball, dressing a doll or wiping a nose. Be it changing economics or culture, it is clear that more men want to parent now than ever before and that, given the opportunity, many will take up the new role with the same energy shown in more traditional parts of their lives. We must continue to expect this involvement of fathers and provide opportunities for fathering to happen.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Barret, R. L., & Robinson, B. E. (1982). A descriptive study of teenage expectant fathers. Family Relations, 31, 349-352.

Children's Defense Fund. (1994). The state of America's children. Yearbook 1994. Washington, D. C. : Children's Defense Fund.

Dalos, Larry. (1982). Four fathers: An inquiry into substance abuse, fatherhood and adolescent development. unpublished manuscript.

Hendricks, L. E. (1988). Outreach with teenage fathers: A preliminary report on three ethnic groups. Adolescence, 23, 711-720.

Kiselica, Mark S., & Sturmer, S. (1993). Is society giving teenage fathers a mixed message. Youth and Society, 24, 487-501.