P.O. Box 646
Middlebury, VT 05753
Ph: (802) 388-3171
Fax: (802) 388-1590
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P.O. Box 646 Middlebury, VT 05753 Ph: (802) 388-3171 Fax: (802) 388-1590 |
One of the most challenging tasks that parents often face is teaching
their children to follow directions. It becomes frustrating for
the whole family when parents have to repeatedly give their children
the same directions ("Pick up your toys"). The recommendations
below can be of assistance in teaching children to follow parental
directions the first time they are given.
Be prepared to enforce. Parents should avoid giving their
children a direction unless they are prepared to enforce it. If
parents do not enforce their directions, then children learn that
their parents don't mean what they say.
Get their attention. Parents should always get their children's
attention before giving a direction. Parents should avoid yelling
directions from another room.
Don't ask questions. Parents should avoid phrasing directions
as questions (for example, don't say "Justin, would you like
to pick up your toys now?").
Don't be vague. Parents should avoid giving vague directions
such as "Be good," or "Be careful." There
may be significant differences between how the parent and child
interpret vague directions such as "being good." Parents
should make their directions clear and specific.
Tell them what to do. Parents should try to give directions
that tell children what to do instead of what not to do. For example,
it is better to say, "Stay by my side," than "Don't
run away."
Praise them. Parents should praise their children as soon
as they have begun to follow the direction. Parents don't need
to wait until the task is completed to offer praise.
Show appreciation. When the task is complete, parents should
let their children know they appreciate their compliance.
Give time limit. If children do not start to follow a direction
within ten seconds, parents should put them in time-out immediately.
Don't repeat warnings. Parents should avoid giving their
children repeated warnings. Children can learn to follow directions
after one or no warning just as easily as they can learn to follow
directions after five or six warnings.
Repeat the direction. After the time-out is complete, parents
should repeat the direction to their children. If they do not
start to follow the direction, time-out should be used again.
This process should be repeated until children comply with the
direction. Center for Effective Parenting
Special Thanks for permission to use this material
is given to:
Center for Effective Parenting
Little Rock Center: (501) 320-7580
NW Arkansas Center: (501) 751-6167
Written by Kristen Zolten, M.A. and Nicholas Long,
PhD,
Department of Pediatrics, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences
Artwork by Scott Snider
© 1997